Review: Even When You Lie to Me by Jessica Alcott!

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This. Book… This book… This… book! (Okay, I’ll stop now. I just don’t know where to start.)
This is Jessica’s only novel and I can’t wait until she comes out with more. She has gained a most devoted fan after reading this beauty of a story and I don’t know where to go from here. I still can’t believe just how much this book spoke to me. Not only was it about my favorite taboo trope ever but I also connected with the character in such a deep level that we minus well could’ve been the same person (for the most part). The prologue drove it home that this book was going to destroy my soul and, unfortunately, I was 10000% right.
I couldn’t help but tear up and ache every time our main character, Charlie, tapped into her low self-esteem. I think we have all been there, and maybe still are, so it’s not hard at all to sympathize with her. There were so many other things about her that struck a personal chord within me that I couldn’t rate this book anything lower than what I did.
We follow Charlie during her Senior year in high school as she starts developing a crush on her new English teacher, Mr. Drummond. She’s also trying to figure out her place in the world since she’s always lived in her best friend’s shadow. This is another part where I can relate to her immensely. I had a ‘friendship’ like this back in high school and this story took me back to those days that I tried so hard to leave behind me. It actually hurt to witness just how alike we were. Jessica did such an amazing job at making Charlie seem as genuine as a character can get. The journey from Charlie’s mind and heart onto the pages seemed effortless and I couldn’t get enough.
It took me a bit to get used to Mr. Drummond as the main love interest, but when I did, I couldn’t let him go. I could definitely see how his attention reeled Charlie in. Often times I found myself flustered and awestruck because of him. I felt like *I* was the one capturing his attention and it wasn’t a bad feeling at all. I was addicted to it and I could only imagine how Charlie felt about it too.
I loved how the humor was present from the very beginning without feeling forced. This book may have brought many smiles to my face but it also brought pain and so many tears.
I was completely and utterly terrified by the last chapter that I put off reading it as much as I could. Which was about an hour and I only lasted so long because I was driving at the time… Jessica gave me what I wanted in the end, but in a way that I was dreading. I wish this story had turned out differently and I will be in mourning every time I look at this book because of it.
This book deeply focuses on the complications and complexity of what it is to experience desire for someone. It focuses more on what is making Charlie feel a certain way than what she does about it. This story opened my eyes to some things I never imagined to experience and I’ll be forever grateful. But on the other hand, it burst open a dam of emotions I kept buried for a reason that I am still having trouble keeping contained. The moment the title made sense made things somewhat worse. I felt the meaning behind it like a tremendous blow. I’m already knee deep in a reading/life slump and I only feel it getting worse because as I write this review.
This book was an unforgivable tragedy to my soul.

6/5 stars!

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